What happened you ask? I know you’re curious (please, random people stop me on the street to ask what happened, so don’t act like you don’t want to know too). I picked the wrong bull to ride at the rodeo, I was trampled by a herd of frightened giraffes, run over by a produce truck…
No, I made those up. The problem is that the real story is so boring that I feel the need to spice it up a little and I will usually answer different strangers in a variety of different ways. You should see their reactions; priceless!
The real scoop is that I got a bad case of plantar fasciitis which aggravated my achilles, resulting in achilles tendonitis. After months of stretching, cortisone shots (ouch!!) and awful pain, the result is this boot. The good news is that das boot is actually healing my foot! And my new ice friends really help with the pain. From frozen 2 liter bottles to frozen vegetables (hey, anyone else need help defrosting dinner?) anything that I think might help my heel, I freeze it and ice with it! That’s right, don’t come too close or you too could end up in my freezer (don’t worry, it’s a small freezer, you probably won’t fit).
Another downfall of IBS is that my stomach can’t tolerate anti-inflammatories (aka NSAIDs: aspirin, ibuprofen, naproxen, etc.) so that’s hindering my progress a little. But it could be worse…that panther could have chewed my leg completely off instead of just mangling my foot, right?!
In honor of my new BFF I think a Letterman style top 10 is in order. Here are 10 signs that my boot has a major attitude problem:
10. It is super clingy; it never leaves my side – even when I ask politely.
8. It thinks unstable vacuuming is the latest and greatest extreme sport.
7. It mocks me like a drill sergeant when I want to sit down with comments like “what are you, weak? You sissy!”
6. It believes it always has the best recipe ideas and conveniently every single one of them calls for ingredients that have been crushed on the floor.
5. It encourages random break dancing sessions at the worst possible moments.
4. Not only is it an alcoholic, but also a sloppy drunk; always loud, clumsy, and awkward.
2. It refuses to dress for dinner…or any other event for that matter.
And the number one reason that I know my boot has a major attitude problem is:
Have you been forced to befriend a boot before? What are your survival tips?